Hi! I’d like to start by saying thanks to Jason and Brad and how honoured I am to be on the team to assisting to go to the next level in your business and personal success.
Since this is my first post, let me introduce myself…
My name is Nicholas de Castella. I have been Life-Coaching Aussies to happiness and success for the past 25 years. In that time I reckon I’ve done over 10,000 sessions. I specialise in helping people master their emotions to create happiness and success with joy and ease.
In my youth I spent 4 years at the Australian Institute of Sport in Canberra, represented Australia in 4 World Championships and ran 2 hours 15 minutes for the marathon. I have a passionate marriage, 2 young boys, live on 7 acres of rainforest in the Melbourne Dandenong Ranges and run a multi 6 figure business training ‘Thrive Breathwork’ coaches to help people identify and clear the emotional blockages that have been holding them back.
My personal growth journey started 27 years ago. I was suffering from high anxiety that lead to chronic fatigue. It was then that I really got that I was the one making my life hard work and I needed to master my inner game, not just work harder on the outside.
Today I’d like to share the key to being a champion in your own business and in life: how to get on with and inspire others, boost your vitality and increase your personal effectiveness – by raising your Emotional Intelligence. Emotional Intelligence is your street-smart ability to get things done and achieve what you want in your life. Studies show that I.Q. (Intelligence Quotient) is not as important as your E.Q. (Emotional Quotient) in achieving happiness and success. You probably know people who did not finish school but went onto be very successful in life (Bill Gates, Walt Disney, Princess Dianna and yes Jason Urbanowicz).
So what are emotions?
Emotions are energy. They provide you with your get up and go in life and they alert you to what you need to pay attention to. You have 4 aspects: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. To live your life fully you need to master each aspect.
Your emotions are your life force energy
They add the colour and richness to life. They help you to connect to yourself and others. They are your inner guidance, your intuition: your fears can highlight what is important, your anger can be energy for change and sadness for things you need to let go of. Your emotions can propel you to achieving your dreams.
Your emotions can work for or against you
Many of our problems are actually symptoms of repressed emotion. We live in a ‘John Wayne’ culture that teaches us that emotions are not real and that it is weak to feel. Many people end up struggling unnecessarily with emotional baggage that is either holding them back or making life much harder than it needs to be.
Repressing your emotions is unhealthy
Repressing emotions can lead to being out of balance, stuck, sick, struggling and disconnected from life. Rogue, repressed emotional energy wreaks havoc in our life driving restlessness, anxiety, reactivity, addictions, excessive thinking and doing and causing self-sabotage and procrastination and relationship conflicts.
In my athletic days I learnt there were 3 keys to success:
- Patience
- Persistence
- Consistence
All of these depend upon Emotional Intelligence.
Patience!
Rome was not built in a day. You do not go to the gym and start lifting the heaviest weights. Anyone who achieves success starts with a long-term plan and builds up steadily towards their goal. The athletic world is filled with injured people on the sideline who tried to do too much too soon. In fact, from my experience, more people did not make the elite level because they over trained, rather than under trained. To have patience you must learn how to manage you impulsivity and learn how to sit with uncomfortable feelings when things seem to be going too slowly. I am told the Dali Lama plans for 500 years ahead.
Just Make a Start
I recommend you live in the present moment and with a clear plan for your success, focus on your next step. ‘Just make a start’ is my favourite motto. On cold, dark winters evenings when it is time to head out into a wet slushy rainforest for a run I focus on just making a start and don the shoes and head out the door.
Persistence!
You are only beaten when you give up. Every champion has had more than their fair share of setbacks and failures – Michael Jordan missed more than 9,000 shots in his career. Lost over 300 games including missing the winning shot 26 times. Resilience is your bounce back factor and if you want to keep your passion alive for whatever you do then you need to let yourself feel disheartened and down when things don’t go as you hope. Last year I flew to Perth to enrol clients and returned to Melbourne with none. Yep a big fat zero. A couple of weeks ago I signed up over 60% of the room into our foundation program: Passionately alive. I like the acronym FAIL to mean First Attempt in Learning. Studies show that those who have GRIT (can keep on moving forward when things get tough) are most likely to succeed in life. True GRIT is not about hardening to setbacks but letting them come through without losing heart. Remember also that choosing to stop and try another way is not giving up J
Focus on Your Vision
Staying connected to why you do what you gives you inspiration and also carries you through the tough times. When you have challenges give yourself some time to ‘let down’ inside. Don’t shut down, stay open and let yourself feel your disappointment. You will be amazed how quickly it can pass when you do.
Consistence
At the height of my career I trained for 3 years, only missing one days training, usually running around 200 kilometres per week.
Bright shiny objects lure many people. Jumping from one promising opportunity to the next: Only to look back on their life and see a field of small holes in the ground. If you want to strike gold in your business you have to focus on one thing and drill in down to where the gold is.
Keep on moving forward everyday
Identify which areas for your business are going to have the greatest impact and be the biggest revenue generating and work at them regularly. If you want to be successful in your business then you need to maintain your customer relationships continuously: staying in touch regularly and giving them useful information and advice.
Be Congruent
Emotional Intelligence is really about being Congruent.
Congruence means as you are on the side so you are on the outside. It means being real and authentic. Living in accordance with your values. It means speaking and living your truth, having the courage to really show up.
When you are congruent you get INTEGRITY and create a lot of strength and power and things have a magical way of coming together: people and opportunities will show up to support you out of thin air.
When you are incongruent, not living from your heart, you will feel shame and your life will feel like a struggle.
25 years ago I stopped working as an Architect and followed my heart to helping other to live fully and create a life they truly love. Again and again I have been blessed by life and I believe it is because I have committed to following my heart and living my truth.
You have to know who you are to be congruent. Look inside and see!
Follow your heart, be sensational!
Nicholas de Castella
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